Mewtwo's TimeTravelling Misadventures!
by Big Red Mewtwo
Summary: FORE! No, four, yes, Chapter IV is up! Stone Cold is the guest in the story. WARNING: Alcohol and crude humour! Please RR and that's the bottom line 'cause BIG RED SAYS SO! :P
1. The Disaster Begins!

MEWTWO'S TIME-TRAVELLING MISADVENTURES  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story!  
  
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***The setting is at Mount Caina (Purity River), and Mewtwo is very bored and depressed (due to all of his friends flee from him or died of neglect [not from Mewtwo - from the world] and hunger). His boredom ended when an unexpeced guest enters his cave.***  
  
???: Hello bored one!  
  
Mewtwo: What the hell you want fairy boy?!  
  
***The guest's body is mainly green coloured with pink wings. Its eyes are shining light blue and gleaming. The creature is a bit over three times shorter than Mewtwo. It is floating around the now-angered feline.***  
  
???: Don't be sad, oh! I'm sorry, I'm Celebi, the Time gaurdian!  
  
Mewtwo: (*sarcastically*) Whoo-hoo. Are you going to pester me? If so, you must prepare to die!  
  
Celebi: No! I want you to travel in time with me!  
  
Mewtwo: WHAT!? Are you NUTS?!  
  
Celebi: Sure! I want someone to travel with me.  
  
Mewtwo: OK, I want to look of how humans become complete f*ck-ups!  
  
Celebi: Yay! that's what I'm doing today! Let's go!  
  
Mewtwo: I just hope I'll alternate the 1999 incident -- seeing that ass- hole Ash ketchum. He's very arrogant!  
  
Celebi: Well, anything can happen when you're the God of Destruction!  
  
***Moments later, Celebi took Mewtwo's left paw and started travelling to the past - about the prehistoric times!***  
  
Mewtwo: Holy shit! These dinosaur- looking Pokemon are HUGE!  
  
Celebi: Ooops! 20 million years too early! The humans existed after the Pokesaurs Tyrannirex and the rest of them are extinct!  
  
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R/R Please. I wrote this randomly. Not the best story around, but it's something to read. 


	2. The Survival of the Fittest yeah right!

CHAPTER II -- THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST (riiiiiiiiiiiiiight..............)  
  
Big Red Mewtwo: Mewtwo, may you do the disclaimers, please?  
  
Mewtwo: Sure, BRM owns nothing but this crazy-ass fucking PROFANE fic! Thank you, so, Nintendo and others, please fuck off and don't sue the authoress!  
  
Big Red Mewtwo: Thank you, Mewtwo. Now on with the story.  
  
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Celebi: I'll think that we'll lea... Mewtwo? Mewtwo!? Where are you?!!!  
  
(***The scene shows that Mewtwo's riding on an Aerodactyl!***)  
  
Mewtwo: WHOO-HOO!!! This is fun! Celebi! Where the hell are you?  
  
(***Celebi is floating, tring to find his newfound friend, but landed in a huge mouth of a Pokemon that looks like a Triceritops!!***)  
  
Celebi: Ick! What reeks!? (*looks around*) Wha! Open your mouth you stupid thing! HELP! MEWTWO!!!!!!  
  
Mewtwo: (*senses Celebi, still riding on the same Areodactyl*) Celebi! What in the world you're doing in the Triterritops's mouth?!  
  
(****AUTHORESS'S NOTE [A/N]: Triterritops and Tyrannirex are two Pokemon that I made up. Some others will be mentioned in the story so confusion might be inedivable.****)  
  
Mewtwo: (*mutters*) Fuck it! (*hits the Triterritops's mouth with a Shadow Ball*)  
  
Celebi: (*flys out*) Yay! thanks, Mewtwo!  
  
Mewtwo: Ah, don't sweat it!  
  
(***Then a Stegamoron [yes it is a moron - ow] -- its big foot approaches Mewtwo -- to squish him!***)  
  
Mewtwo: (*tiredlike*) Dude, this is too early for Armageddon, is it?  
  
Celebi: Mewtwo...  
  
Mewtwo: What leaf boy?  
  
Celebi: You don't want to be a pancake, do you?  
  
Mewtwo: No...  
  
Celebi: Then GET OUTTA OF THE DINO-POKEMON'S WAY!!  
  
Mewtwo: (*looks up*) Oh shit! (*floats off*)  
  
Stegamoron: WHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! MY FOOD FLOATED AWAY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mewtwo: Let's get the fuck outta here, Celebi!  
  
Celebi: You're right. Then again, it could be worse.  
  
(***Celebi grabbed Mewtwo's left paw and exited the prehistoric world***)  
  
Mewtwo: Now we're even.  
  
Celebi: What do you mean "even"?  
  
Mewtwo: I saved your ass and you saved my ass, that's what.  
  
Celebi: Oh.  
  
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Well, Ch. II is finished. Now readers, on Ch. III, the duo will be in the time humans first develop their... social skills. Now I need is some ideas for what to do for Mewtwo and Celebi. Thank you. 


	3. PresentTime FuckUps Part I

CHAPTER III - Present Time Fuck-Ups Part I  
  
BRM (Big Red Mewtwo): Hello, it's moi again. A little note that Mewtwo is the vulgar of the two and Celebi is the nice voiced of the two.  
  
Mewtwo: She's right, she owns ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING BUT THIS STORY!!!!!!!! Now, can we get onto the damn story, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?  
  
Celebi: Yeah, please, Ms. Mewtwo?  
  
BRM: Sure.  
  
Another A/N: The chapter with the first time humans arrive is a little later.  
  
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Mewtwo: (*phew!*) Um, Celebi, where the hell are we?  
  
Celebi: -.-U Oh no... we're in the present! 2004 AD!  
  
Mewtwo: What's so damn bad about it?  
  
Celebi: Take a look to your left.  
  
***Shows a weird shrine that the text says: "So Sir Mewdeux saved Princesse Celebii from the evil Triterritops and lived happily ever after."***  
  
Mewtwo: (*stomach turns, about to vomit*) BLEACH! Celebi, we're not fucking gay, aren't we?  
  
Celebi: (*puzzled*) No?  
  
Mewtwo: Good. (*vomits on the snow*)  
  
***A mob of people is running towards Mewtwo and Celebi***  
  
Woman #1: Mewduex! He's back! And his time-travelling wife, Celebii!!!  
  
Woman #2: Worship the Goddess of Time!  
  
Woman #3: No! Worship the God of Destruction!!  
  
***All people bow before Mewtwo and Celebi***  
  
Mewtwo: Celebi, this is one FUCKED UP meaning of respect!  
  
Celebi: You are so right! (*shudders*)  
  
***Mewtwo's holding his stomach, he is not feeling well.***  
  
All worshippers: (*gasps*) You two needs to have a good meal! Go, to the castle!  
  
***At the castle...***  
  
Boy #1: Oh, your highnesses, I am Ash, trainer of Pallet. Can you help me with your advise, please?  
  
Mewtwo: (*with a mouthful of Dodrio meat, eyes fraring up in anger*) NO, but, what is your starter Pokemon?  
  
Ash: Pikachu.  
  
Mewtwo: HELL NO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Woman #3: Don't mind the boy, he is one spoiled pest. Worst off, he and his Pikachu are serious gay lovers.  
  
Mewtwo: Ick, that's very fucking disgusting!  
  
***Hours pased through, and Mewtwo and Celebi are getting a little ticked...***  
  
Mewtwo: Celebi, I forgot something when we're in the prehistoric times.  
  
Celebi: What?  
  
Mewtwo: AMNESIA!  
  
Celebi: D'OH!  
  
Mewtwo: I think we'd go back so I'd apply the move to the creatures there?  
  
Celebi: Yeah... good idea.  
  
Mewtwo: Thanks, I owe ya one.  
  
Celebi: No, we're even, again. Due to the Amnesia you're about to apply.  
  
Mewtwo: Yeah, let's go.  
  
***Moments later, back to the present after Mewtwo applied Amnesia....***  
  
***At Purity River***  
  
Mewtwo: We're back! Whoo-hoo, normalness!  
  
Celebi: Yeah, but Ash is still famous...  
  
Mewtwo: Aw FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
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Well, Ch. III is done! Please R/R. I'll update again! 


	4. WHAT?

CHAPTER IV: WHAT?  
  
Celebi: Hi, I'm Celebi and you know that the authoress, Big Red Mewtwo don't own Mewtwo or I, Nintendo does. Thus, she does not own any of Stone Cold Steve Austin's tactics. Nor Stone Cold himself. Stone Cold and the WWE does. And finally, she does not own Molson Canadian beer, Molson does. Thank you and enjoy the story. But before the story, the authoress wants to speak a few words...  
  
BRM: Thank you, Celebi. I'm very happy that someone does review my story. Bunny Meatball, thank you for reviewing so far. ZA, Mewtwo's Amore, can you please review more? (***sad puppy-dog eyes***)  
  
Now, as well, if anyone is smart enough to look at my bio, there is a notice of my WWE story, "Tough Enough IV". Can they answer my question from my bio? Thank you in advance and now I'll go to the story.  
  
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(***All of a sudden, Ash Ketchum enters Mount Caina, with his Pikachu and his Pokeballs.***)  
  
Ash: SWEEEEEEEET! A Celebi and Mewtwo, WAZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!?????  
  
Celebi and Mewtwo: @_@  
  
Mewtwo: (*to Celebi*) Idiocy cannot be avoided, eh?  
  
Celebi: No kidding. I'll pause time and get some Molson Canadians.  
  
Mewtwo: What are those "Molson Canadians"?  
  
Celebi: My favourite kind of beer. I'll be back!  
  
Mewtwo: OK.  
  
(***Later...***)  
  
Mewtwo: (***Looking at the beer case [the case has beer BOTTLES]***) That's the Molson Canadians!?  
  
Celebi: Yep, Mewtwo, when it comes to drinking that fine cool beer, you are UNSTOPPABLE!  
  
Mewtwo: Sweet! Are you sure?  
  
Celebi: Yeah I'm sure! (***gives Mewtwo two bottles***)  
  
(***A/N: TIME IS STILL FROZEN!!!***)  
  
Mewtwo: (***wonders***) hmmm... how to open this? The only way I know is how Stone Cold Steve Austin opens it. (***flips caps off***) I hope the bottles are as safe as the cans... (***breaks bottles and tries to chug the beer -- but broken glass shards are stuck in his throat!***) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! GODDAMNITTHATFUCKINGHURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*  
  
Celebi: (***anime sweat drop***) Mewtwo, you don't know how to drink beer? God, you're one party-pooper! (***whacks Mewtwo on the back, Mewtwo pukes up glass and blood***) Man, I wish Stone Cold was here...  
  
(***Out of nowhere, Stone Cold Steve Austin arrives in front of Celebi.***)  
  
Stone Cold: Well it isn't my little drinking buddy. I heard that you have a problem!  
  
Celebi: Yeah, my friend, Mewtwo (***points to Mewtwo***) has a... problem with beer bottles. _U  
  
Stone Cold: (***walks over to Mewtwo***) You silly son of a bitch! What are you try to do! Commit suicide!?  
  
Mewtwo: No. (***holding his throat in pain***) I never drink beer before! And I found out the hard way that chugging beer with sharred glass are more hazardous than getting shocked by Giovanni's trap-device back in 2001**!  
  
Stone Cold: WHAT!? I cannot believe this! Satan's Cat don't drink beer!? I cannot believe this SHIT!  
  
Mewtwo: (***to Celebi***) SATAN'S CAT?!  
  
Celebi: That's the name I gave you when you opened that huge can of whoop- ass on Ash Ketchum in 1999***! You're the most rad, man!  
  
Mewtwo: I thought you're not vulgar.  
  
Celebi: Ooops, my bad. It's seldom that I'm vulgar. Now, Mewtwo, this is...  
  
Stone Cold: No intros, Celebi! Mewtwo, WRONG WAY TO DRINK BEER! For starters, you FLIP the cap off and just drink it when it comes to bottles! The one you SMASH is the cans!  
  
Mewtwo: (***after he recovers himself***) Ooops.  
  
(***Celebi resumes the time***)  
  
Ash: (***has a Master Ball ready***) Mewtwo, you are mine! GO! Masterball!!!  
  
(***The Master Ball is caught by Stone Cold!***)  
  
Ash: WHAT? Who are you?  
  
Stone Cold: WHAT? I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin you son of a bitch! What are you trying to do -- trying to dress as a slut and attempting to screw the Cat of Hell over?! You're worse than Triple H in that damn Katie Vick angle****!  
  
Ash: ??? (***confused, due to he does not watch wrestling.***)  
  
Pikachu: (***finally speaks***) Pika? ("What?")  
  
Stone Cold: The hell with it! (***gives Ash the Stone Cold Stunner***)  
  
Celebi: Yeah, screw it! (***gives Pikachu the Stone Cold Stunner***)  
  
Ash and Pikachu: @_@  
  
Stone Cold: Now, (***gives Mewtwo two cans of Molson Canadians***) as you can see, Mewtwo, the authoress and a few other fans of yours are Canadians --  
  
Mewtwo: BEER?  
  
Stone Cold: (***chuckles***) No, people of Canada. Anyway, before you interrupted me, you open those damn things up, then you bash 'em up!  
  
(***And then we see Celebi, Mewtwo and Stone Cold drinking beer.***)  
  
Celebi: (***after QUITE A FEW beers...***) So, whaada you thiiiiink, Mewtwoooooooo?  
  
Mewtwo: (***after MORE beers than everyone else***) AWESOME... (***sees a nearby Nurse Joy and starts singing***) JOY TO THE WORLD! THE CHICK HAS CUM...  
  
Stone Cold: Well, and that's the bottom line...  
  
Celebi: ...'cause...  
  
Mewtwo: ...MEWTWO SAYS SO!!! (***starts chasing Nurse Joy!***)  
  
The victim Nurse Joy: HELP!!!  
  
Stone Cold and Celebi: (***looks over at each other***) Naaaaaaaa!  
  
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OK, that totally reeks of randomness! But, there are some pointers to note you.  
  
(If you see the number [or numbers] of asterisks beside a certain of words, it means something.)  
  
* If you cannot understand this "GODDAMNITTHATFUCKINGHURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", it says "God damn it that fucking hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
** "...Giovanni's trap-device back in 2001!" See Mewtwo Returns. You'll understand.  
  
*** "...can of whoop-ass on Ash Ketchum in 1999!" See Mewtwo Strikes Back. In the story, that's Celebi's description of the climax of the battle between Mew and Mewtwo.  
  
**** "...Triple H in that damn Katie Vick angle!" If you watch the WWE programming in October 2002, you'll see what Stone Cold is talking about.  
  
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So, what do you think of this really messed-up chapter? Please review the chaper. NO FLAMES! Flames would be throughly doused with Kanette's AND King Kane's (MY GYARADOS') HYDRO PUMP! Only constructive critism please! 


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